Is there anything more annoying, insulting and repulsive then having a bird take a crap on a newly installed convertible top or, even worse, on a car seat? It happens. Especially for auto upholstery shops that park a lot of their customer’s vehicles outdoors.

However, don’t be so quick to wipe it off — as that could make the mess a lot worse.

A recent article in Esquire magazine explains that cleaning bird poop while it’s wet can actually cause it to spread, get caught in the upholstery fibers and turn into an even bigger mess. Their advice is to wait for the poop to dry.

Bird poo, from a cleaning perspective, is a funny substance in that it’s one of the few stains that isn’t best treated right away (mud and ink are two others that fall into that category). Cleaning dried bird droppings is going to be a far easier and more successful task than trying to clean it while it’s fresh. […]

Once the bird poop has dried, the first thing to do is to scrape or pry it off the fabric. You can use your hands for this, and certainly no one would fault you if you wanted to wear gloves for the operation; if you don’t have gloves around, you can use a paper towel or paper napkin. […]

There will likely be a white, sort of chalky-looking stain left behind that can be treated with a small amount of liquid dish soap or laundry detergent applied to a damp rag or sponge. That’s really all! Of course, in this particular scenario we’re talking about a lot of bird shit, in which case the use of a portable upholstery cleaner…may make more sense from a time management perspective. [read more]

Sure, it sounds counterintuitive, but if it works — it works. Right?

For what it’s worth, there’s an old superstition that says bird crap brings good luck. So don’t let it get you too down. (Unless your car looks like the photo above. In which case, burn it.)

For more information, read the full article: “What do do when a bird sh*ts in your car.”